


i get so lost inside your eyes (would you believe it?)

by thedreamsteam



Series: all the lights couldn't put out the dark (runnin' through my heart) [2]
Category: 1917 (Movie 2019)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, References to Hamlet, Trains, its just them getting a train and ebing in love with each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:00:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23779561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedreamsteam/pseuds/thedreamsteam
Summary: It’s an honorable discharge.Will finally registers what the letter said a few days later, freezing in the middle of whatever activity they were doing. Tom continues ahead of him for a moment before finally realizing he’s stopped, turning back and jogging to him. He rests his hand on his shoulder, and Will looks down at the younger boy.
Relationships: Tom Blake/William Schofield
Series: all the lights couldn't put out the dark (runnin' through my heart) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1712950
Comments: 6
Kudos: 50





	i get so lost inside your eyes (would you believe it?)

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! tenth fic for the fandom babeyyyy
> 
> uh dedicated to the 2nd devons server and stasia!!! (also,, hamlet for spencer and jamie yuhh)
> 
> title is from adore you by harry styles!!

It’s an honorable discharge.

Will finally registers what the letter said a few days later, freezing in the middle of whatever activity they were doing. Tom continues ahead of him for a moment before finally realizing he’s stopped, turning back and jogging to him. He rests his hand on his shoulder, and Will looks down at the younger boy.

“Will, what is it?” He asks, the concern clear in his voice, and the love that Will has for the boy fills him in that moment. Here’s this boy, this boy who used to be a soldier, who talked to everyone, no matter who or what they were, and was so kind. So,  _ so _ kind that he tried to help a  _ German _ pilot who crashed into the barn, who couldn’t even understand them, and got stabbed for it. Here’s this boy, who cared for him so much, so deeply, that instead of heading home and going to see his mom and tell her  _ yes, he’s alright _ , he leaves the hospital as fast as he can to go see Will (and see his brother, yes) and stay with him all this time for no other reason than the fact he cares about Will so, so deeply. Not to mention, he decides that wherever Will goes, he’ll go. No matter if it’s back into no man’s land, or back to the trenches. He’s already told Will that he’ll follow his steps, no matter how much he has to retrace them.

And that just fills Will with the idea, the realization that this boy truly loves him. This boy would go to the ends of the Earth for him (as he’s told him when they laid in the cot together, Tom whispering the words when he though Will had fallen asleep, telling him about how if he had to, he would follow him to the ends of the Earth, and retrace all those steps if it meant that he could see him once more), even if he meant he’d never see him again. He understands that feeling, feels it every single time he stares at Tom, but he’s never felt it as strongly as he does now, just staring at this boy who cares  _ so much _ about him, never felt it as strongly now, and he’s shocked to find a few tears have slipped down his face.

“Yeah, I-I’m fine.” He finally says after a moment, smiling down at Tom. “I just finally realized what that letter said.” Tom stares at him, confused, so Will explains. “The ones we got a few days ago? Telling us that we were getting an honorable discharge?” He doesn’t even have to finish explaining himself before Tom’s laughing, clutching on to Will so he doesn’t fall over. His hand drifts to his stomach, resting near the wound, and Will worries for a moment that the laughing is hurting him, but when Tom looks back up and Will searches his face, he can’t find any trace of pain. Tom’s finally able to stop after a few moments, breathing forcefully before facing Will.

“I’m sorry, Will, but that was kinda funny.” He finally says, still chuckling a little. “I know you like, understood it when I said it the other day, but it taking you all this time only to just now realize we’re getting honorably discharged is kinda funny.” He grins up at Will, and he can feel his heart softening in his chest. He lightly shoves the boy, though, a small grin on his face, and just tells him that they need to hurry up so they can get good seats on the train. They laugh as they run, and Will can’t help but think he wouldn’t mind spending his life this way. Running away with the boy of his dreams.

And that’s strange to think, isn’t it? That he’s running away from this entire mess with the boy who he desperately hopes he can live his life with? Who he hopes to spend many nights and many days with, who he hopes he’ll be with for much of their time together. They’re running away from this mess together, and that’s all he can be glad for, for now. That they got away from this mess before it could get worse, before one of them could get injured worse, before one of them can die, and he’s forever grateful for that.

Tom pulls out their tickets for him, and he smiles down at the boy, thanking him as soon as they’re through the gate. “You don’t need to.” Tom just smiles, and they continue onto the train. They sit on the furthest back compartment, leaning to rest against one another. It’s not that comfortable, Will finds himself leaning further on Tom, spreading out on the seat. It’s calming, sitting here, resting against him while the train moves over the tracks, lightly bumping with every movement.

He doesn’t think he’d want to be with anyone else right now. Tom’s humming above him, and it’s a tune he knows, only he can't remember it. It’s soothing, though, and he finds himself relaxing, slowly falling from resting on Tom’s shoulder to his head resting in his lap. He would get up and move back his shoulder and stay there, but he feels too sluggish to do anything of that sort. So, he stays, eyes slowly closing, as he feels Tom lean forward slightly to grab a book out of his bag.

Tom starts to read the book aloud, quietly, and Will’s asleep before the second page is done

\--

Tom finishes the third scene before he realizes Will’s asleep.

He’s reading Hamlet, and he thinks that fact’s escaped Will’s notice because the man didn’t even try to ask any questions about it. He smiles, and his hand moves into the older man's hair, lightly running his fingers through his hair. He has no clue how the man’s kept his hair soft through all of this, but knowing Will, he wouldn’t even know the answer.

He sets the book down, marking the page before he puts it back in his bag, pulling out a worn one in its place. It’s a sketchbook, one that he’s had since before the war had even started (before he had even joined). One that’s well-used. He flips to near the back, where there’s barely any clean pages, and he starts.

He starts to sketch Will. Except, where can he start? With his soft hair, or his blue eyes? His kind smile, or what? He could go on, but every part of Will is perfect, no matter what the man says. So, he begins at that top.

He works until the sun goes down, in which the electrical lamps are turned on, but he dims them, putting the sketchbook back into his back. He tries to fall asleep, tries to ignore Will on his lap, but finds that he can’t do either of the two. Instead, he can only stare at the man on his lap.

Will tells him that now, with the bandages wrapped around his head and the wound still healing, that he can’t find it in himself to look at a mirror. That he needs Tom to be there to tell him when he doesn’t look right, because he can’t even look at himself. That he can’t even tell where the wound ends and his face begins. That he can’t even see himself anymore.

And that breaks Tom’s heart. Breaks it more than it already is, anyway.

When he looks at Will, he sees the wound, of course. He can’t take that away from him, not now. It’s an important piece of him, and no matter what Will says, it adds to him. He can see the bravery in him from that look, the wound showing him he was strong enough to have that done to him and lived. He sees how strong he is, the wound in his hand showing that just as well. It’s healed now, of course, but it still hurts Will sometimes.

He sees how much Will is  _ good _ . How much he has a kind soul; how much he wants to help everyone he sees. He sees how much Will doesn’t deserve to be in this war, how much he’s already changed since leaving the trenches. He just sees how kind he is, no matter what Will says.

He sees the man he fell in love with, and he can’t help but think that that’s enough.

His eyes trace Will’s face, trying to remember this man as much as he can. He knows he won’t leave this many by choice, not now, not ever, but he can’t help to try and remember him, as if it’s so that he can still see him perfectly in his dreams.

His hands itch to draw Will, to try and keep his memory in paper one drawing at a time, but he doesn’t want to move and accidentally wake up the man. God knows Will hasn’t slept enough the past few days (month? year?) so he refrains from moving forward to grab the sketchbook again, and settles on switching from looking at him to put the window and then back to him.

Every single time he looks at Will, he always discovers something new. No matter how much they’ve been together, how many times he takes in his face and whispers  _ I love you _ again and again, there’ll always be something for him to see. Before, he’s noticed his smooth, sun-kissed skin, it being the first thing he ever saw of the mans face. The next were his blue eyes, the color of the lake near Tom’s house, color so smooth and clear you couldn’t help but want to dive in. His hair was the next feature, color so warm and the hair so fluffy that he couldn’t help but want to run his fingers through it. He’d been slowly realizing smaller things about the man, like the fact that he has a scar in his eyebrow from when he accidentally stabbed himself with a knife as a kid, or the fact that he has freckles, so light that unless you know they’re there, you’ll never see them.

He can see something new, though. He doesn’t know how long it’s been there, but there’s a scar on his lip, a contrast against the pink color. It’s white, and he can see it so clearly, even in the dark. It’s a wonder that he hasn’t noticed it before, but now that he’s seen it, he can’t stop thinking about it. When he tries to look out the window again, to see something in the dark landscape, his eyes can’t help but wander back to his lips. He’s noticed them before, but they’re soft, pink, and he  _ really _ wants to kiss them. Their compartment is shut off by doors, with no way for someone to see in, so he leans down towards Will, first kissing him on the forehead, wiping away his stray hairs, and then giving him a soft kiss on his lips.

He doesn’t stay for long, and pulls away after a second, smiling as he stares back down at Will. It’s a soft sight, one that even a blind man would be able to see. His hand comes up to rest on Will’s cheek, and he lightly strokes it, his smile widening when Will unconsciously moves his head more into it. Tom can’t help but tear up at that, and it’s a sad thing to tear up at, but it’s just the fact that he’s close enough to a man (to  _ anyone _ ) to even be able to do this is overwhelming.

If he’s being honest to himself, he never thought that he’d be here, on a train with a man he loves, riding to a city near the hospital they both will become familiar with, close enough to his mum’s that they can visit often, but not close enough that it’ll be a weekly thing, and be able to live alone with a man. Be able to do this without being questioned by people on the street, because he has a cane that he’ll use only when in public (really, only in that city) and Will has a hole in his eye, and people will forget about wondering why are they holding onto one another and begun to wonder what the fuck is the war doing to people. He never thought he’d even be able to love a man, to even be able to spend time alone with him and have nobody question it.

Slowly, he pulls his hand away and holds Will’s in his own, and he hopes the man doesn’t wake up before this moment ends, because he doesn’t want him to find him with tears on his face.

The time passes slowly, and he finds himself staring at Will’s hand, comparing it to his own. It’s bigger than his hand, almost dwarfing it with its size. That sounds weird to even think about, so he drops it, but he wants to bring it up with Will, later, when they’re bored and don’t know what to do.

He gets his sketchbook after a few more minutes, and he adds the little details he’s noticed onto Will’s figure. It’s calming, and he only puts the sketchbook back into his bag a few minutes before he passes out as well, leaning on the sill on the window.

—

When Will wakes up, it’s dark outside. The train is still moving, rumbling steadily through the darkness, so he doesn’t start panic himself. He can hear the steady breathing of Tom above him, showing that he’s asleep, and he waits a few moments before he opens his eyes, just to take in all the sound.

It’s soothing, almost, but when he wakes up and takes in the sight of Tom, that soothes the worry in him more than anything else ever will.

The boy’s resting on the window sill, arms crossed underneath his head. He’s clearly using it as a pillow, keeping his head up, and Will can’t help but smile at that. His hands are smudged with charcoal, so Will can tell he’s been drawing, but his sketchbook has been put back in their bag, hidden away for nobody to see.

Slowly, he gets up, pulling off of Tom and moving to the seats on the other side. He doesn’t want to accidentally wake him up, so he stays quiet, pulling out the book he’s reading. It’s Pride & Prejudice, again, and he’s only begun it, still on the first chapter.

So, he reads the book, reading about everything he wants to, while Tom sleeps beside him. It’s calm, peaceful, and this is everything that he could want, and maybe even  _ more _ . He’s thought about this a thousand times, but he never thought he’d get here, able to be alone with his lover, but somehow he is, and it’s the best moment in his life so far.

He pauses the book, marking his place before setting it aside and pulling out his own journal. It’s similar to Tom’s sketchbook, worn and torn in a few spots, but it’s different from his as well, with a latch on the front and strings to mark his place. He pulls out a pencil, but when he tries to put it to paper, he finds that he can’t. Not physically unable to, but mentally. His mind has gone blank the moment he tried to do this.

Except, when he looks at Tom, asleep on the sill, drooling slightly, his pencil touches the paper again, and he’s still writing when Tom wakes up a few hours later, yawning as he stretches. He stays silent, and so does Tom, but he can feel his stare on him, and when he looks up, Tom’s just looking at him a soft smile on his face, not unlike the way Will looks when all he can think is how much he loves Tom.

He loves Tom so much, and even when he’s not thinking about anything, not focusing on anything, Tom is still on his mind, never leaving, always there. Even the moments where Will wishes he could forget Tom, in the nights where he wishes that he had never joined the war, Tom’s face persists, staying at the forefront, reminding him that this is why he’s without an eye, why he’s still  _ alive _ .

“I love you.” He whispers, but in the silence of the booth, it sounds like a shout.

Tom leans up at that, fixing himself in his seat, glancing around before leaning forward to kiss Will, quickly. It’s not that long, but it feels just like all the other kisses they’ve had (and is it cheesy for Will to say that they’ve felt magical?) and he can’t but love it all the same.

“I love you too, Will.” Tom grins, and Will decides in that moment, that he’d do anything to see that smile again.

**Author's Note:**

> im on tumblr at @toddsandersons (but that might change soon skfdj)


End file.
